Being the Patient

Last week I went though surgery on my toe to fix an ingrown toenail.  The procedure that was done was called the Vandenbos Procedure.  In the past 6 days of healing I have discovered something about myself: I may make a good nurse, but being the patient is really not my thing.  I believe that this has something to do with my nursing background.  At work, we spend our time hoping for the best outcomes for our patients, but also planning for the worst - we need to be prepared.  Over the past days I have found it very, very easy to fall into the "planning for the worst" rut.  I have incorrectly thought that I've sustained almost every negative outcome that could come from this procedure (from sepsis to necrosis).

This process has so far been a revelation for me.  I truly did not realize how hard being a patient is.  In school we have been taught about the negative effects being ill or postoperative or in pain has on the patients' state of mind - but until I was put into the patient position, I never really understood.  I also have realized that worrying about the worst case scenario is not helping me heal one bit.  I have decided that I need to take a step back and let my doctor worry about the worst case scenario and take on a more hopeful view of things - afterall, think of all the beautiful shoes and sandals I will be able to wear this summer once I am fully healed...